Monday, February 8
11:52 PM
The D.I.S.C profiling workshop was quite accurate ,to be honest. I never talk much unless I really am comfortable enough with the person. I try my best to talk more but sometimes, it's not just ''YOU ARE ABLE TO CHANGE UR BEHAVIOUR'' like what the trainer says. It's just abit hard for me. I guess D just isn't me.
and I really really really really really feel very burnt out and stressed/pressured/worried/confused/miserable?. I just felt like breaking down on the journey home.
Sunday, February 7
4:28 AM
Was looking thru some NDP songs. (i was bored.) and i noticed that older songs tend to be nicer. at least for me. Gives me the Singapore feeling. you know you know?
and i almost burst a vessel just by talking on msn. zz.
Going to be a crucial week for me. Wish me luck. in more ways than one.
Thursday, February 4
11:13 PM
it sucks when you hear such comments made towards you and see people's reactions.
Wednesday, February 3
9:38 PM
Sometimes, like now, I feel like I am a fucking fool. Just now, on the long bus journey, I thought about it, Why do I feel so miserable whenever I stress myself on how to give it ? Why do I make myself unhappy? Why do I keep thinking that there is still hope? Why did I choose to take Physics instead of Geography? Why did I take a subject that I know I would struggle in?
I live in self-denial. I keep procrastinating. On top of that, I keep telling myself that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. The pressure is really mounting on me. I need to shout out loud. I am going to break. I cannot tell it to family. We will probably just quarrel. I have not tasted home cooked food for 5 years. I have not ate together as a family since Primary 3?
Somehow, if I have gone to a different school, then I believe would have convinced myself .
I try to act happy. My OG mates say I am a deep person because I think a lot. and very funny. Deep down, nobody truly understand how I feel. Not he, Not She and most certainly not you.
It's very hurting to know that people think I am getting close to them because I have a ulterior motive. Life goes on. But it just isn't best, for now.
Saturday, January 30
11:33 PM
Did some shopping for some important events for person coming up in Feb. ok, shopping sounds kinda wrong. hunting. purchasing? bomb.. probably going drink water everyday for dinner liao. nvm, it's worth it.
took 72 . at the int, (prob today was some flag day), i noticed something from the second storey of the double decker bus. 2 girls would slack and wait for buses that are coming in to the int to terminating before chionging to the exit door and put on their smiles (+ some bootlicking) to persuade people to donate. wa pro. hw come i nv think of that b4? ok la since they call me shuai ge, i donate. lol +point. but i noe they just trying to tao hao me.nvm lol.
and did i mention another prob for the phone after fixing it today? they created another prob wile fixing the previous prob. LG? lol. mayb not on purpose but is very sian. I went there like FIVE times in the last 2 weeks le. and I need to bring it there again some other day since I didnt want it to leave it there . prefer on the spot repairs. sound distorted .
I have no idea why I feel like I have a rock in my throat when you are around. I just can't overcome it. Because the feeling is still obviously there?
Thursday, January 28
12:02 AM
hope tmr will be a gd day. :)
feels weird to sleep at 12am. wayyy too early. I must get used to this.
will kinda miss the usual guys from tommorow onwards. good luck to u all! :D esp those in AJC one. all my hao ping you.
Monday, January 25
1:53 AM
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility
that you would ever feel the same way
About me
It's just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Goin away
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Things that look so ordinary suddenly look one of a kind when you look at them from a different angle. Things that you hardly notice suddenly looks fascinating when you slow down your pace and see them. Things that you take for granted suddenly becomes so important to you all of a sudden when they are gone. Things that you complain everyday suddenly becomes something that you miss, very very much . And all this is what I suddenly realised. Life becomes better when you move at a slower pace.
